I do a lot of things differently from how I was raised, not because I think my parents got it wrong, but because I simply have a different approach to things. Maybe I’m a bit more relaxed too, or maybe it’s just that I’ve had more options available to me than they did.
The main thing is this: I was raised to be highly competitive. Disappointment cut deep growing up, especially when I measured my life against peers who seemed to have accomplished so much.
I’m not raising my son to be less competitive, but I don’t pressure him to always be no. 1 either. I also don’t tell him that simply passing is good enough — that feels unambitious to me, almost like settling before you’ve even tried. I always reassured him that things are okay, and will continue to be okay, when it comes to his goals — as long as he focuses on his own path and never compares himself to others.
My son has set his own personal benchmark, and I let him own it. What I’ve noticed is that he’s naturally invested in his results. When he falls short of the score he believes he deserves, he gets visibly frustrated — and honestly, I take that as a good sign. It tells me he refuses to settle for average.
What I love most is watching him chart his own course, independently. And somehow, it’s unfolded exactly the way I’d hoped and prayed it would.
Have I Told You This Already? 
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